“Do not rely on the outer world as your measuring stick for your spiritual growth. Rely on your response to the outer world to determine how much you have grown.”
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Comparison is a surefire way to disappointment. There will always be someone more intelligent, beautiful, talented, wealthier, or better at something than we are.
Several years ago, I was at a World Cup Equestrian Event in the crewing area, which is literally behind the scenes; think of the pit stops at the Indy 500. Horses were being pranced around, and many oohs and ahhs could be heard. One of the horses was rumored to have been purchased for $1 M. Then, quietly and innocently, my intern said Charisse’s horse was only $1. As you can imagine, the heads turned toward me.
My dear friend and horse chiropractor regularly encouraged me to ride smart and do what I do. He knew I could not compete against those with endless money, those who were skirting the drug restrictions and cheating; however, he also knew I had great horses, so he prompted me to do the best I could. That was enough motivation to keep moving on.
We lose sight of what we have when we play the comparison game. Everything and everyone has strengths and weaknesses. If we focus on our strengths, we are only as strong as our weakest link; therefore, if we focus on our weaknesses and strive to bolster them, our overall force grows.
We may see the shiny bling when looking at someone with more; however, what we are not seeing is the underlying weak point, so instead of yearning for a glimpse of someone else’s world, we can elect to focus on doing the best we can with what we have, the fulfillment we gain is worth all of the glitter.
I will never be the fastest, shrewdest, or highest-paid anything. I am, though, a person who does my best at whatever task or activity I choose. It is easy to compare and then feel bad about oneself if we are on the downside of the comparison or have an elevated sense of self if we are on the top side.
Both are false realities. There is always another to compare to; if we start on this slippery slope, we will forever bear the anxiety to keep on top of it.
What if, instead, we did the best we could do? Given the information, the resources available, and the insight we have today, we give it our all. Then, in the future, when our resources or experiences change our insights, we do better.
Think about your first apartment or house. I prided myself in thrifting, recycling, and repurposing cool things. My place represented what I found aesthetically pleasing and was within my budget. I sewed slipcovers to make my shabby sofa look chic and garnered praise for upscaling a dowdy dresser.
Very little of what I once used to decorate remains, except for some cookware I will probably never part with. But at that time, I loved my humble and boho-chic style even before there was a name for it.
It doesn’t lessen what I had then or improve what I have now. It served my life then, and my lifestyle fits my life now.
Doing our best has taken a spiral downward when the value was not set on accomplishment but instead on just showing up. To win is to win; however, setting our sights on what our win is is most important.
Sometimes, just finishing is the goal; at other times, we want to push the envelope more. It really has no bearing on anyone else’s opinions of the situation. No one is walking in our shoes. Just starting may be someone’s highest accomplishment.
And endurance credo is to ride your ride, not letting those coming up fast behind you push you faster than you want to go or, conversely, to catch up with those riding in front of you. The same holds in life. Live your own life. Do the best you can today; quit the comparison game or get sucked into envy. Live unapologetically who you are and strive to contribute to society as much as you can. Doing so alleviates your angst when someone with bigger, better, and more crosses your path. You will hold in your heart the knowing that today you did the best you could do.
Always Do Your Best. Your best is going to change from moment to moment; it will be different when you are healthy as opposed to sick. Under any circumstance, simply do your best, and you will avoid self-judgment, self-abuse and regret.
I am here and I’m alive. That’s enough.
~Don Miguel Ruiz
