Out beyond ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing there is a field. I’ll meet you there.”― Rumi.

The Right-Wrong game can be played with any number of people in any setting, and we are often unknowing participants. Once the game begins, it can be difficult to stop. The problem with the game is no one ever really wins.

There are two leading players in the game. Those who always need to be right and those who consistently make others wrong.

The ones who need to be right want to convince those who disagree with them to see it their way because their way is the only way.

The second type of player points out how another person is wrong, no matter what someone says, does, or feels. Again, not necessarily because they are right but because they need to make others feel wrong.

There are endless combinations of the above strategies, so players are not limited to these tactics.

There is a spectrum of colors between black and white. The need to convince others of the right way or to make another wrong limits our ability to see those colors.

A perfect example is in the dog world. I love all dogs, but Dobermans are my favorite breed for my lifestyle: loyal, low maintenance, beautiful, athletic, intelligent, and kind. However, I cannot count the times I have heard the opposite breed description, with those listing the many reasons why I should not have them.

Fine. You can have your opinions about my dog, and you are right; the breed is not the right one for you, but it doesn’t make the breed wrong for me, and it doesn’t make me wrong because we have differing opinions.

Many try to impose their beliefs on others. If you don’t like milk, don’t drink it. If you think TV is mindless dribble, don’t watch it.

The same holds with EVERYTHING.. dare I say politics or religion, right or wrong? Vaccines, right or wrong? Gender choices, right or wrong? And on and on and on.

Can you imagine a world where we all thought the same, ate the same, spoke the same, dressed the same, and functioned in the same manner?

Because we disagree, let’s accept that we don’t. It doesn’t give one the license to bully, terrorize, or try to jam a point of view down the throats of those who make choices inconsistent with ours.

To want to make someone change their opinion to our opinion implies their perspective is wrong. But it is only bad from our perspective. So let them be. It is right for them. And if it is not, well, let them figure it out. It will be a lesson learned.

To be right doesn’t make us more right if more people agree with us. It doesn’t make us wrong to have our perspective, and it certainly doesn’t make us more right to condemn others of theirs.

Right and wrong are judgments we put upon things, thousands of times creating the lives we choose to live. However, those choices are made individually for a given point in time. And with time, things change, so our decisions of right or wrong can also change.

When you have had enough and want to stop the cycle, here are the:

 3 Ways to End the Right Wrong Game

1. Don’t start. Let go of your need to make those you perceive as ‘wrong’ see it the ‘right’ way.

2. Agree to disagree With a simple statement, “You have your opinion, and I have mine. Let’s agree to disagree.” can stop the game. Once either party expresses it, no “if’s, and’s, buts, or just one last thing”  can be uttered. PERIOD, the conversation stops.  Breathe and let go of the tit-for-tat comments.

3. Change the conversation; if that doesn’t work, walk away. If the other party does not want to disengage, you always retain the power to remove yourself from the dialog.

No one can force us to accept those things which go against our point of view or morals. If we want to change how we live our lives and have others join in our perspective, standing on a soapbox won’t be as effective as if we live it. Then by our example, we may get others to see our point of view.

We can cherish the differences it brings to the room if they don’t. And find appreciation for who they are and what they believe.

Doing away with the intolerance of differences could end many issues, resulting in a more accepting and peace-filled existence for all.

“So far, about morals, I know only that what is moral is what you feel good after and what is immoral is what you feel bad after.”
― Ernest Hemingway