Driving away from the Veterinarian yielded the exact results I knew in my heart: my beloved cat Cloudy had bone cancer in her jaw. At 20 yrs she has lived a whole and happy life, so hearing the news was bittersweet.
All of us who have four-legged companions dread the day they will depart; some people refuse to endure the heartache of the loss again; I, on the other hand, do it repeatedly. Not looking to replace the one who has passed, which could never happen, I open my heart to the next soul that enters my life. So often, I say yes, then the journey starts anew.
Knowing our pets will one day pass is a given, yet the feeling of loss is the same. My heart was heavy knowing the sadness I had felt so many times before as I drove away from the vet, yet, I understood how sadness resides on the other side of happiness.
Cloudy is not sad at all; back home, she meowed albeit quite demandingly for her food and, after eating, jumped into my lap for a cuddle. Her cancer is fast-growing, having doubled in size this month. This aggression alerted me that this was soon to be fatal. But Cloudy does not walk around in a state of anything but contentedness. She goes about her day as she has done each day, owning her world.
Years ago, I learned a great lesson from my elderly dog, Tezi. For two years, I dreaded she would die suddenly, and each time I left my home, I said my goodbyes as if that was the last time I was to see her.
One day my acupuncturist was over, and as I was sitting on the floor giving Tezi some love, she commented, “Stop being sad when you hug her, she is not sad, but your sadness makes her sad.”
The truth and the beauty of that statement hit me like a stone.
Living in the here and now is given to the animal kingdom, yet it is a constant challenge for humans.
Once I could see my emotion and projection’s adverse effect on Tezi, I knew imposing my feelings on her was irresponsible.
Once again, my dearest four-legged ones have taught me on my spiritual journey. As unevolved humans, we feel our emotions supersede that of all others.
By expressing how we feel, we contaminate situations, seemingly making ourselves feel better at the expense of others. Although my sadness was valid, it did not benefit Tezi; it was quite the contrary.
This simple lesson has stuck with me. As a result, I always take a moment to check how my emotional state may adversely color that of others.
It is not repression. Instead, it is a selection of appropriate behavior. I could express my sadness openly, just not to Tezi.
You cannot be more outraged than the victim ~ Bill Maher
Every day with Cloudy is a gift. I love her and allow her to drool on my lap or pillow. Her days are numbered, as are all of ours, and I will strive to be as Buddha-like as she is, living in the moment. When she takes her final journey into her next life, I can flip the coin and feel my sadness, knowing that until the end of her days, Cloudy and I will have shared only love and happiness.
When you love someone, the best thing you can offer is your presence. How can you not if you are not there?
~Thich Nhat Hanh
scott mccray
💜💜💜🐾🐾
Van
Nameate, with bittersweet for a while
karyne Ventris
They are never gone just evolved to the story of your life like you are the story of theirs.