Loneliness expresses the pain of being alone
and
solitude expresses the glory of being alone.
~Paul Tillich
People typically respond to solitude in two distinct ways: Love or hate it. Spending time alone is not a sentence in purgatory; if embraced, solitude can illuminate our souls.
One friend expressed that when she was home with her hubby, she liked it quiet to concentrate on work. However, if she was alone, she needed the TV or music in each room. She couldn’t think straight if it was too quiet.
Another friend, when left to her own devices, burrowed in with a book and absorbed the time alone, loving the peace solitude brought her.
And yet another friend said if the house was empty and he was working, he would go to a public place instead. He called it torture to be home alone and didn’t like the emptiness of the space.
How do you like solitude?
I like it quiet. Being alone is my solace. I open windows and doors without music, and weather permitting, I listen to the trees, squirrels, and birds making their music.
I don’t remember when I first understood what a gift solitude was. However, a childhood punishment of ‘Go to your room’ was not a punishment. I would gladly escape into the quiet of my bedroom.
Perhaps I discovered the comfort of my quiet because my home could be a loud discourse at times, or maybe I was just born this way.
Being a loner, I am comfortable doing things solo. When I discovered Endurance, riding a horse long distances was a sport that perfectly fit my personality. Never could I have imagined how transformative it would be.
Often, in the middle of the night alone on the trail, darkness pierced only by moonlight, wind blowing, cold, tired, sometimes uncertain if I was lost, I could have the most profound conversations with myself. Fear flanked my side when unseen noises seemed to follow me, and self-doubt crept in. Alone, without others to influence my thoughts, I examined the deepest corners of my mind. In these moments of complete aloneness, I could see who I was.
It was there I found my inner strength. Knowing it was me alone, I traversed the roads within to find my path. Facing my fears gave me the fortitude to forge ahead. In my darkest moments, swearing I would never enter another competition, thinking my Endurance career was over, what fun was it anyway, to be out there tired, scared, and alone?
Then, I would see glimpses of the finish line. Moving towards the beckon of light, my spirit was reinvigorated. Crossing the finish line, my thoughts would turn from never again to when the next one was. My inner shadows had passed.
Solitude is an exhilarating yet can be a frightful journey. It allows us to explore our parameters and redefine our limitations. Our shadows, once examined, merely become remnants of who we once were.
6 Lessons I Learned from Solitude
- The harder it is to be alone, the more we must let go.
- Solitude allows us downtime—a time to reboot our brains, to clear ourselves of distractions and chatter.
- Solitude allows us to hear our inner voice. When alone with our only thoughts, we can listen to who we are.
- Within solitude, daydreaming can occur. Our most profound creativity can be reached within the exploration of those dreams.
- The feelings that define alone time and loneliness vary. With practice, solitude allows us to discover inner peace and leave loneliness behind.
- Solitude offers a place to face our inner fears and replace them with calm confidence where the fear once resided.
I sometimes long for those nights of solitude on the trail. Occasionally, I ride out alone into the night to hear the sounds of what is lurking inside my soul. Enjoy the journey within.
Solitude is independence
~ Hermann Hesse
