The more conformist the culture, the more taboo “no” becomes.
~
A taboo is something we have been taught is wrong. It can be because of religious or social customs and prohibits a particular practice or association with a person, place, or thing. Taboos are often initiated by those limited by fear and dis-ease, which contributes to creating these constraints. Alan Watts aptly sums it up; There is always something taboo, something repressed, unadmitted, or glimpsed out of the corner of the eye because a direct look is too unsettling. Taboos lie within taboos, like the skin of an onion.
Every culture has taboos, and globally they vary; for instance, the number 4 is a bad omen in China. In Russia, even numbers of flowers are associated with funerals, and in Malaysia, it is rude to touch a person’s head. In many Jewish and Muslim communities, people are forbidden from eating pork. In some Polynesian communities, people are prohibited from touching a chief’s shadow. We can see that not all taboos hold one universal truth.
Taboos are transient, so while some have remained a standard of decency, others have not. Fortunately, some taboos have relaxed in many cultures, creating an atmosphere for adaptation. By embracing new concepts, we can let go of obsolete long-held views.
Letting go of societal or religious restrictions can only happen if we examine our truths. Shedding ideology begins by questioning whether the doctrine believed by others holds accurate for us as individuals.
Diversity and inclusion are now headlined concerns, although it has not always been so; interracial marriages were at one time thought of as taboo. My truth is not aligned with its wrongness since I am the product of such a union. It does not fit within my reality of what is correct. I also come from a divorced family, raised by a single mother. Although now commonplace, many years ago, it was less prevalent. In today’s society, the taboo of a single parent has been nearly eradicated, gaining support rather than judgment.
What was once labeled a spinster rests next to an adulteress in colonial labels, a single woman with no children was seen to live a life lacking fulfillment. Now it can be viewed as a life of freedom and abundance.
The power to eliminate unwarranted taboos lies within us all. The single action to shatter a taboo is to alter our thoughts about it.
Finding our truth takes self-reflection and critical examination, for yours may differ from mine. It is rare for people to agree that a particular thing happened in the same way and for the same reason. It always depends on the perspective from where one sits.
Therefore, the opinions of others have no place in the cultivation of our own lives. We have the power to design our lives in a manner that fits our truth.
It requires courage to buck the system, challenge the dogma of society, whether familial or cultural and live according to the realities that make up who we are. Yet, the reward of searching our souls and becoming more is worth the strife and resistance we will face.
If change were easy, everyone would do it. Be the one who sees the possibilities within the impossible, the one who follows their gut instincts and inner yearnings, knowing that because it is not the way it is, it does not mean it is not the way it can be. Shatter the taboos that do not harmonize in your being, leading the way for others to do the same.
Whenever a taboo is broken, something good happens, something vitalizing. Taboos, after all, are hangovers, the product of diseased minds, you might say, of fearsome people who hadn’t the courage to live and who under the guise of morality and religion have imposed these things upon us.
~Henry Miller
