Happiness is an internal choice not an external condition

~ Joshua Rappaport

The topic: successful relationships have reigned at the top of search engines for decades. Everyone wants to know how to make them work. On the lookout for the je ne sais quoi, when we finally meet that ‘right’ person who has it all, we settle down and live happily ever after. Right?

Wrong. Statistically, over 50% of marriages don’t work out, regardless of the books read and the advice given.

Why?

There is an overload of reasons why relationships fail.

Indeed, we want a loving, kind, successful, charismatic, yadda yadda yadda person. The list can go on for days, and while there are characteristics necessary for compatibility, we may be missing one key element.

I recently heard sage advice from a 94-year-old woman. This often-overlooked quality is brilliant, simple, and sound wisdom: to choose a person who is happily content within themselves.

The big house, fancy car, and amazing vacations are transitory distractions that may yield momentary pleasure or happiness, yet they are fleeting. Even though we demand more and more, the desire for external fulfillment cannot fill the void within or sustain us over the ebbs and flows of life.

Whereas that partner with inner contentedness, no matter what life throws at the two of you, you can rest assured your partner will look at it with bright eyes. They won’t be looking at you to fulfill their internal void, which is impossible because we know our happiness depends on ourselves.

This element is surprisingly tricky to find, as simple as it sounds. Many people are discontent. And a pitfall with discontented people is they look outside themselves for completion.

How we move through life IS our life. We become how we act.

But what if how you act is just a temporary situation? What if you can change your behavior to create a different you?

What if this is all just one slice of reality, and you can color your reality any way you choose?

Ions ago, I was in a committed relationship with a man who saw the glass as half empty. While with him, I started to become someone I did not like. I became bitchy. I was unhappy; I distrusted my partner. Finally, I told him it was over, and he asked why. I said I did not like who I was becoming. He said get over it; this is who you are.

I said goodbye and never looked back. It is true. I am capable of being a bitch; I am capable of many things. But that doesn’t mean I must operate my life on that plane. I wanted me back. The me that I liked.

This story illustrates the power of choices beautifully.

An old Cherokee is teaching his grandson about life. “A fight is going on inside me, he said to the boy. It is a terrible fight, and it is between two wolves. One is evil – the other is good – The same fight is going on inside you – and every other person, too.”

The grandson thought about it briefly and then asked his grandfather, “Which wolf will win?”

The old Cherokee replied, “The one you feed.”

Although we are all capable of change, most are content with the status quo, believing their situation is the only story.

But that is not true.

Happiness resides within us.

What we sow, we shall reap, and this holds for everything in our lives. Maybe the perfect partner hasn’t manifested yet because we are not ready. Perhaps all of the complaints we have about the people we meet are a mirror of ourselves.

So, before searching for that perfect match, we must become the person we seek. As we know like attracts like.

The Let Go is a pathway to happiness. Letting go of those things that no longer serve our lives, which include our outdated ideas about the perfect partner, allows us to manifest our destiny.

Become your best; your reflection will attract that special someone when the time is right.