Seek not that the things which happen should happen as you wish; but wish the things which happen to be as they are, and you will have a tranquil flow of life. ~ Epictetus
Letting go of anything that no longer serves us is the gift we give to ourselves. Letting go creates space. Just as a work of art needs white space for perspective, so do our lives.
The inspiration for The Let Go comes from what I learned from horses, which translates to every area of my life. To train horses, you apply pressure to cue or teach them to learn something. Then, in the nanosecond, they move away from the pressure, we release the pressure.
The release is what I call The Let Go, and it informs their brain they had the correct thought and are taking the proper action. So, The Let Go is the reward for doing the right thing.
Identifying this key component while training fortified how I move through the world. It has become the foundational platform for how I live.
The hardest part of The Let Go is the letting part of it. I can be a control freak. I like things a certain way and am mindful of the effort to let things happen differently. Yet, it often takes just a moment to be still before I act, allowing things to transpire as they may. Unless we can let go, we become stuck in what was.
Letting go is the highway of growth. Moving away from the desire to control and trust what is, allows what will manifest. It takes confidence to believe what will come to pass is for our higher good.
Horses have been my first teachers in letting it happen. When a client asks how it will take for their horse to be ready, I respond, It “will take as long as it takes.” Results frequently happen in stages; sometimes, you can see it immediately, and the change is imperceptible at other times. Because of this, letting is so challenging. We become impatient and greedy for more.
One big ah-ha moment of letting go came while I was about 90 miles into a 100-mile race, it was pitch black in the wee hours of the night, and my horse suddenly stopped. As much as I kicked and prodded, he would not move after allowing me to question why he would do something so out of character. I pulled out my tiny light, now able to see clearly that I had veered off the trail, and we were about to go over a cliff if we took a few more steps. I let my reins go loose and followed the lead of my horse BC Bucklers Streak. I had to let go of my idea that I could control him and trust that he would take care of us. This lesson will remain with me forever. We cannot always see until we let go of what we think is there.
The lesson in letting also translates to my work as a casting director. In the studio, I learned there were many ways to go from A to Z. I witnessed other methodologies that worked as well as my own. Actors are also teachers in letting go. Magic will happen when actors are allowed and encouraged to bring their interpretations. By letting go of my need to predict the outcome of a scene, I trusted and allowed the letting part to take place. And true to form, I was always surprised at what happened and the many brilliant, unexpected performances.
In every aspect of life, there is room for The Let Go. But, unfortunately, just as our homes become cluttered with things we have collected over our lives, internally, we have clutter too. Nothing in life stands still, yet we expect ourselves to operate with an outdated operating system, with broken misconceptions we once held to be true.
There are big let go’s, some of which involve changing old belief systems, communication modes, or lifestyle choices. And there are every day let go’s. For example, we can choose not to engage in petty arguments, allow the person who cut in front of us to take our parking space and forgo the need to explain our point of view just because we want to make the point. Letting go of the small stuff can be summarized as picking our battles.
The more significant let-go often takes more repetition, consciousness, and mindfulness to allow an outdated way of being to change entirely. Yet, don’t fret; everything is changeable with diligence and desire.
This process of inner housekeeping opens a feeling of liberation, creativity, and freedom.
But it’s a gradual happening, and bit by bit, the desire to hold on to things emotional or physical becomes less. As we learn to let go of societal indoctrinations, belief systems, and generational family dynamics, the desire to gather and hold on to stuff merely to store it away in our psyches dissipates. For we understand the power which comes from less is more. And when that happens, the letting becomes effortless.
Some of us think holding on makes us strong but sometimes it is letting go.
~ Herman Hesse
