To Let Go is about detaching. However, to detach does not mean we no longer care. Sometimes, it means we care too much to hold on.
We like to attach to things – people, places, ideas, and animals. Nothing in nature stands still. So, to keep up with the flow, we attach and detach as we grow.
Detaching takes more effort than attaching. Sometimes, the detachment is easy, and often, it is not. It can be emotionally charged and messy. Even when we know the change will happen and prepare for it, we can resist, which can still hurt.
Sometimes, we enter situations that we know are temporary, and yet our tentacles begin to attach immediately.
I recently had an opportunity to examine the process of short-term attachment.
Cami was a foster who stayed with me for four nights and five days. From the moment she entered my life, it felt like she had been here forever.
I knew when I said yes to fostering a 2-year-old, my heart would be tender at the end of the 5th day. Luckily for all of us, it would be an almost immediate transition. She had her family waiting for her on day five. I was just a stepping stone. Each day, I told Cami that I was just the bridge between where she had been and the wonderful new life she would have. I witnessed her forming attachments to me immediately, as well as me to her. Knowing that they would be long-lasting and temporary, I struggled with my sadness and empathy for her vulnerability.
She was sensitive, and her eyes were not as sad as they were hopeful that I would want as much as she tried to become family.
I couldn’t bear for her to sleep in her bed; she looked so small and alone. I brought her into bed with me, and our heartbeats comforted each other all night.
In the morning, she was active, wanting to play, and thankfully, Joie, my 2.5-year-old, wanted to entertain her. We went to the park so she could see the bigger world. Each day, she joined in my life as if she were to stay forever, and on her last day, she and Joie came to work with me. Lucky for me, my studio loves youngsters.
Knowing that Cami was a foster only made everyone love her more.
Her eyes held the key to her soul and her soul was deep with shadows of sadness that she didn’t allow to dominate.
It was through her sadness that we all felt the warmth of her presence. She was quiet and wanted only to be held and loved, as if she knew staying quiet was her salvation.
On our drive home, I was melancholy when a friend texted to say they were all at the park. We stopped at the park to see her recently acquired friends and play with Henry, who is a bit younger but also full of energy and life.
When we arrived home, we had a quick dinner, then I packed up all of her belongings and put together a care package of the foods and toys she had grown to like.
Her new mom, Marilou, came to pick her up with her new sister. Reba was welcoming and kind. They seemed to understand that a bond was going to form.
Secured in the back seat, I hugged her and then waved goodbye with tears in my eyes.
She will be in my neighborhood so that I will see her again. My heart was full of hope that she understood that I had not also abandoned her like the many before me but rather that I was the bridge to her new life.
For the five days she was with me, I sent my most potent thoughts of love to her. I know that love heals all, and given her past, she had much to heal. In return, she, too, was healing my heart. Knowingly or not, I am not sure, but genuinely, it was working.
Cami is a one-in-a-million dog, a Doberman Pincher.
In the short time she was with me, every person she met wanted to keep her. I would have kept her in a snap if Marilou had not instantly seen the specialness in her. She will become a therapy dog to spread her healing energy to patients and seniors to visit with her new mom. I could not think of a better soul to take on that job.
ALL animals touch my heart—some more than others. Cami is one of the exceptional ones. It took her many humans to make her way to me and, hence, to Marilou.
I thank the universe for how it works to make what is supposed to be BE.
Joie de Vivre, my 2.5-year-old, was also sad when Cami left. However, I take her lead. Joie lives her life in the way of nature. She understands being in the moment and loving whenever possible. It is always possible.
Cami made a cameo appearance in my life, and I will hold that dear to my heart.
Through her, I Let Go of my attachment to forever, understanding to embrace the now, to live in the moment.
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The process is similar whether we want to break ties with certain people, things, situations, or behaviors.
If we can:
~ Understand why you want to Let Go will assist in the detachment. It is more difficult to follow through without a concrete reason. This step will aid you. The reason must be strong enough to drive you through the entire process as you detach entirely.
~Look forward to your life once you Let Go of whatever you are detaching from. It may be painful. However, it may be more rewarding than you can imagine now.
~Be grateful for what was. Our growth elements are the scars, wounds, joys, and smiles followed by sorrows. See them as the colors that make you YOU.
Let Go’s come in many shapes and sizes. Although this story is about a dog, it illustrates life. Small or large, if we train ourselves to attach and detach, our lives will lighten up, always creating room to attract what is next in store for us. We will not stay rooted in the past but be open to the future as we strive to live in the NOW.
As Ram Dass said “BE HERE NOW”
Cami passed over to the rainbow bridge in 2024. RIP, sweet Cami. Run with the wind. You were loved and will be missed.
originally published December 2018
You can read more about how we form attachments in Cut the Cords and Set Yourself Free. And about Decluttering our Lives
Alex
❤️beautiful
Sara Gepp
This is exactly what I needed to read today. Thank you so much. Worrying and caring are not the same thing! Love your blog!
charisse
Thank you Sara! I love that… Worrying and Caring are not the same thing!!
Iris
Thank you for this beautiful and so tender article you wrote. I will take it with me today and tomorrow and tomorrow… Many Blessings to you.
charisse
Iris, thank you for your words.