Pay with compliments and you will always be wealthy
~Mike Dolan
Praise is powerful. Whether integrated as a motivational tool in your business or solely in your daily activities, you will find people you engage with will have a greater desire to be helpful, going the extra mile and are often noticeably happier.
Praise, which is synonymous with compliments, is a virtuous circle to be within. To give or to receive a genuine compliment makes the receiver joyful and also provides an uplifting feeling to the giver. It is a win-win.
“Sincerity is the highest compliment you can pay
~Emerson
Several factors happen when we receive a compliment. It typically elicits a smile to both parties, and smiling changes your brain’s chemistry; it spurs a chemical reaction, releasing hormones, including Dopamine and Serotonin. Dopamine increases our feelings of happiness, and Serotonin is associated with reducing stress.
Couple that with, when receiving a compliment, the circuit in our brains, which is associated with rewards, as in gaining a coveted gift or romantic attention, becomes activated. The hormones released, signals the brain that we did the right thing, encouraging the brain to repeat the positive task or behavior. It sparks a light within that wishes to stay lit.
Another perk to receiving praise happens when learning something new. Research suggests having a positive experience improves our long term memory, and at the same time, we tend to remember the learned material better. It is an excellent tool for educators and businesses to utilize.
And yet, the power of praise is underutilized or given with caveats and loopholes.
Key elements for giving a compliment
Just Do it. It doesn’t cost anything to give a warranted compliment, and the upside is monumental. Because compliments sit in the logical center of our brains, it takes a conscious effort to formulate a thought to give praise, unlike a reaction or accusation like blame which, is quickly spoken because they reside in the emotional part of our brain.
Make eye contact. Just like making a toast, you want to make eye contact with the one you are complimenting. Plus, it benefits you to see the joy in their face when they hear it.
Use sincerity. While a compliment stimulates our brain to want to do better, insincere praise acts oppositely. We may have the initial Dopamine surge, yet, ultimately we will feel distrustful of the one giving the insincere compliment. It may go so far as to heighten our danger-response instincts and release Cortisol, which is a hormone activated during fight or flight responses. So be authentic.
Be specific by avoiding blanket statements or generalizations. Instead of saying, You always do a great job. Be specific: The point you made during the presentation was beneficial to me; it was instrumental in my decision-making process.
Be careful of making compliments that could be misinterpreted. Commenting on people’s physiques can make them feel awkward. You look fabulous! Rather than Have you lost weight? Or That’s a great suit! Rather than, that suit makes you look buff. Making the compliment personal is essential, yet find a way to give them without targeting something that may be understood as a backhanded one.
Receiving compliments can also be tricky and awkward.
Say Thank you. Or Thank you, I appreciate your kind words. Gratitude and acknowledgment are integral parts of receiving a compliment. If the praise is for yourself and others, i.e., a team, confirm the tribute will be shared with those involved.
Mindful of your body language. Although receiving compliments may be uncomfortable for many, refrain from crossing your arms, shuffling your feet, or looking down. Eye contact will usually mitigate the awkwardness. Enjoy the praise and allow it to wash over you.
Don’t deny or downplay the compliment. Accept it graciously.
Don’t milk it. Really, why do you feel I did a great job? Oh wow, you think it was great? Thank you, and a smile is all you need as a response.
Don’t try to outdo the compliment with a better one, thus engaging in a compliment battle.
Etiquette 101, when someone raises a toast to you, the correct response is to smile and nod your head humbly. Do not drink alongside everyone; wait until everyone has taken a sip. Otherwise, it appears to be self-congratulatory.
Humans operate on multiple vibrational levels. When we compliment someone, it raises both parties’ vibrations. With a simple Keep it up, you are doing great, or That color brings out the color of your eyes! Can make a persons’ day. Plus, it makes us feel like a million bucks. Practice the art of praise and watch the energy change around you and tribe.
There is no effect more disproportionate to its cause than the happiness bestowed by a small compliment.
~Robert Brault
