Human beings are not born once and for all on the day their mothers give birth to them, but … life obliges them over and over again to give birth to themselves.
―
Self-realization may not be the goal of everyone. Yet, the power is at our fingertips for those who strive to actualize the most of their potential. The journey of self-discovery is not a one-shot deal, there is no viola, and we are awakened. Instead, it is a daily journey with pitfalls and ruts. Each step of the way, we have a choice. How we approach determines which road we take. We can make it easy or difficult.
However, when I hear letting go of the desire to hold on is hard, it is partially correct; it is hard until it’s not. To let go of a way of being, a point of view, a situation, or anything that no longer serves us, we sometimes choose to hold on vehemently even though it is counterproductive to our pursuit.
Often we hold on because it is familiar. It is what we know, even if it brings us pain or misery. We allow the fear of the unknown to creep in, paralyzing us from making a change so we don’t move. We rationalize how this behavior or this situation is not so bad; it’s OK. We are fine. It’s because sometimes we get more out of the struggle.
Difficult experiences make us feel strong. I rode 100-mile races on horses, and I did it for years. It’s hard. And I loved it. Deep inside, I needed to prove to myself I was tough enough, had the mental and physical stamina to do it, and learned a few things by doing it repeatedly. 1) If I could do that, I could do almost anything. 2) I learned to adjust my mindset, so 100 miles didn’t seem daunting. I found the easy under challenging situations.
Do you look at a challenge and shirk away, or are you excited? Either attitude is OK. But we can’t have it both ways. We can’t have it easy if we want to make it complicated. If we make it hard, OK, hold on for dear life. Hold on until your hands turn blue. And that’s perfectly acceptable too. Then, one day, or perhaps not, it will dawn on you to let go of your grip, and you will realize the reward of the release. That’s the prize.
I am not saying life is without bobbles and setbacks, but most of what is worth having is worth the effort to achieve. Life is a choice. The choice is ours to pick the attitude to traverse it.
Recently someone commented, “Letting go is hard; how do you make it easy.” I agree it is challenging to be brave enough to look inside; it can be dark and ugly and not initially accessible.
However, when we are on a journey of self-discovery, we begin to understand that everything that crosses our path is an opportunity or growth. We may think we are not ready for it and turn our backs on it, throwing up our arms and exclaiming I can’t deal with this; why me? Or you may approach it head-on and say bring it on; what is the lesson to learn from this?
At some point in life, we have all held on to behaviors that no longer facilitate who we are or those that benefit who we are becoming.
Through deep introspection, which may be the hard part, we identify aspects of our identity that may need adjustment. When we do, the ease with which we let it go is up to us.
Those moments of discovery make the challenge worthwhile.
Carl Jung once said, “Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will rule your life. And you will call it fate.
Effortless comes when we choose to allow the flow, to accept there is something to learn and that what is presented is an opportunity for growth. Some may judge when someone’s life seems seemingly effortless, but they do not realize the work it took to make it look easy. Effortlessness comes from years of work and training, making it look so. We must work at it to become the most self-aware and self-actualized people we can be. But work is just semantics. If you love what you do, then the work becomes a joy.
We are the designers of our own lives. We can allow it to appear difficult or choose to make complex things seemingly effortless. It is up to us to make it easy or difficult. What do you prefer?
Let yourself be drawn by the stronger pull of that which you truly love.
―
