What you aren’t changing you are choosing.
~Laurie Buchanan
We all have triggers, even though the causes vary. Triggers are simply emotional or psychological responses to an event. Being triggered is when we respond reactively, occurring when something within is unresolved or unhealed. Luckily, our subconscious highlights these areas through those responses, allowing us to identify them. Triggers are our teachers. Pay attention to them. They are the most influential internal compasses we have to well-being. If you are willing to change your thinking, you can change your life.
When people do not actively take responsibility for their actions and reactions, they may be unaware that a trigger is something they can control. They may forewarn others of their triggers through their speech and actions. Nowadays, being triggered has become a normalized reaction, and some have the emotional need to let everyone know about the ones they have, accepting these reactions as part of their personality.
They may use triggers as a get-out-of-free card to respond reactively, often alerting anyone who will listen that the particular situation triggers them. This removes any responsibility for the individual, thinking the trigger is happening to them rather than an emotional reaction. Sometimes, the more reactive we are can equate to our ego desiring more importance.
Often, the words “always” and “never” indicate the forbearance of something that has occurred in the past, and an association has been made about whether it will happen again. Some may project or assume because it happened once, it will always happen, or because it hasn’t happened, it never will.
We are responsible for growth. No one can evolve or learn the lessons perfectly tailored for us. If you are on the path of self-realization, understanding your knee-jerk responses will notify you of areas that need work.
Value your triggers. Embrace them; they are the information needed for your healing and expansion.
When we focus our attention on something, we keep it alive. We give it our power. The bigger the emotion, the more energy we provide to the situation. The best way to end something is to starve it—don’t feed it; stop reacting.
When we consciously live in the present and desire to redefine our future, we must abandon the past—memories of hatred, anger, frustrations, and hurt. The most complicated challenge about becoming conscious is not repeatedly making the same unconscious choices.
When we take our attention away from those people, events, and situations that have held our attention – the triggers begin to disappear. The less attention is given, the less energy is spent. Eventually, the trigger will fade away.
Energy flows wherever we put our attention, and when we take it away, it ceases to grow. When we break an energetic pattern, a new reality emerges. The trigger starts emotionally, and then our thoughts get involved, deciding to hold on to the emotional memory. We can stop the idea by changing our thinking and releasing the trigger.
The complexity is that the emotions of overreacting have become a component of our conditioning. The body is used to the feelings of thinking in the past and will look for other things to put those emotions and heightened reactions on. However, the more conscious we become and the more diligent we are about our thoughts, the easier the transition will be to release the patterns forged in the past, recapturing the energy for the here and now and, most importantly, for your healing.
No one can heal you but yourself. When you are ready to change, dive deeply into what triggers you. They will show you the direction of your wellness.
Deciding to Change
Identify the trigger: narrow it down to the specific event or trauma.
Don’t take it personally. It is not happening to you. You have 100% control of how you want to respond. You choose to react and perpetuate it or to let it go.
Take a break: Step away from the situation to avoid an instinctive reaction.
Breath: Slow down and focus on your breathing. Allow a sense of calm to engulf you before letting go.
Look at the thoughts associated with your reactions as an outsider. Observe the past scenario and understand that it is no longer valid or needed for you now.
Triggers are messages from our higher selves, allowing us to learn how to be in difficult situations without being affected. They are a gift. Embrace them, look closely at them, thank them for the opportunity to heal, and then let them go. Hasta la vista, baby. Then pat yourself on the back and move on to the next with a lightness you forgot you had.
Our inner beliefs trigger failure before it happens. They sabotage lasting change by canceling its possibility. We employ these beliefs as articles of faith to justify our inaction and then wish away the result. I call them belief triggers.
~Marshall Goldsmith
