You can have it all, just not all at the same time.

~ Betty Friedan

Can we have it all? Many in our collective consciousness have decided that we cannot. Wanting more can be perceived as selfish or greedy, as ungrateful for what we already have.

I can be this, or I can be that. I can have a career or a relationship; I can’t have both. I want to follow my dreams, but I must make a living. So it’s one or the other. I can’t have my cake and eat it too.

Having it all seems unattainable.

Those following a spiritual calling may have renounced sensual pleasures and material possessions. However, those of us living and working in modern society struggle between what we perceive to be a spiritual path and the trappings of the material world. In our quest and desire to have it all, we may experience guilt, shame, or the need to justify our wants.

Life doesn’t have to be an all-or-nothing proposition. Our definition of all is very individual. My all is different from yours, and it is different now. Our alls change as we change.

Some alls will be with us for a lifetime, and others will not.

As with the seasons, there is a time for planting, growing, and harvesting; there is a time for all to come to fruition and then fade away. What was once my most fervent all may now be a distant memory.

Defining what it all means to us happens when we change our perspective.

These two components comprise attaining it all: mindset and math.

First is the mindset: If we think we cannot have it all, then we cannot. Period. Letting go of limitations within our own beliefs is a crucial step. It takes opening our minds to the possibility of abundance.

Next is math. We cannot give 100% of our energy to one thing and simultaneously 100% to another. It does not add up. So, we cannot have all of our alls simultaneously.

Several years ago, I needed to choose my all.

Having a successful business that facilitated the enjoyment of my life was one necessary element, yet my all was focused outside of my career.

At that time, I put my all into training and preparation to become a competitive endurance equestrian, with the five-year goal of competing internationally. Unfortunately, my career took a back seat, my relationship stagnated, my social life died, and my horses and I excelled.

After accomplishing my goals with the horses, they took a back seat, and I shifted my attention back to business. This led to some of the most lucrative years of my career.

Naysayers said if I had focused on my career instead of my horses, I might have had those best years multiplied. As accurate as that may be, having it all included my horses.

Having it All is Possible When:

1. We define what our all is.

2. We understand we can have it all. Just not all of the time.

3. We focus on all we have and not on all we want to have next.

Instead of asking, “Can I have this or Can I have that?” We can simplify the decision by determining a simple equation.

   And + Or + Me = And MorE

 

The missing variable in the equation is me. This factor determines whether we can have it all or not. Adding our intentions changes the equation from an and/or situation to an And MorE result.

Having it all exists by living in the moment and appreciating all that we naturally have all the time. Throughout your life, will you be able to look back, having experienced your all, all along the way? Are you ready, willing, and able to go for it now?

You can do anything, but not everything.

~ David Allen