Aging is an extraordinary process where you become the person you should have been. ~ David Bowie
Every minute of every day, we are all aging. We will never be chronologically younger than we are now. How we perceive it determines whether we grow old or become ageless. Becoming ageless happens when we shift our outlook.
Acknowledging what prevents us from owning our years is essential to spiritual growth. To want to look youthful is not an issue, yet masking it behind a facade of apprehension does not pair well with it. To become who we are meant to be, we must let go of who we once were.
There is a shift happening now. We are entering a new era; the fashion of aging is upon us. Never before have women embraced the natural cycle of life as they are now.
As a young woman, I admired women who went grey. They seemed to be shrouded in mystery, exuding an aura of wisdom and youthful curiosity, holding a secret behind the twinkle in their eyes. I wanted to know what allowed them to be so confident and free.
Years later, as my grey appeared, I lacked the courage to let it show. I was not ready to become the woman I was meant to be. I struggled. The ramifications seemed immense.
Ageism is rampant in the world in which I work. I have been a Los Angeles commercial casting director for over 30 years. In this image and youth-oriented business, was I endangering my livelihood if I allowed my age to show? As you approach 50, you are looking at the exit door in advertising.
So, like millions of women, I colored the grey. Momentarily I felt better; however, I felt like a spiritual charlatan for hiding my true self. The dread of exposure was always hanging over me.
When I finally decided to let my grey shine, most of my friends were shocked. To their reactions, I responded:” I am doing it so I can speak my truth.”
Coming to terms with my aging was crucial for my journey of self-realization. Acceptance of who I am, naked, without adornments, was imperative. I needed to face myself without shame. It was not easy. At times, I was unrecognizable to myself. The inner image I carried had not reconciled with the one reflecting me – who was that older woman looking at me?
Nothing in nature stands still, so why should we?
The secret those women knew so many years ago was knowing they did not need society’s permission to Be. Instead, they followed the course of nature, flowing with the change of seasons, understanding the power of renewal, regrowth, and resilience.
The energy they exuded crossed generations. There is nothing more attractive or sexy than someone living their truth. Those women were the forerunners of the fashion of aging. They were setting the stage for us. But society still had a stranglehold on our perceptions.
The time to challenge those perceptions has arrived.
A trend in fashion, spearheaded by young men and women, is to color their hair grey. They see the beauty in what those experiencing the transition see as appalling. The door has opened for those hiding behind the facade of youth.
However, we don’t suddenly become fashionable. First, we must let go of our acceptance of society’s stigma about aging. The stigma happens slowly. We barely realize it is happening at all. There is a sense of irrelevance, an almost imperceptible fading. Yet, deep within, there is a feeling something is changing.
Then one day, we feel as if we are no longer modern. We have a veil around us. Yet, it is not about who we are. It is about how our culture imposes its prejudice of age upon us.
For this reason, many women resist the aging process. They hold onto perceived youth, shielding the truth of reality from themselves. They have not made peace with their reflection in the mirror.
When I decided to follow the course of nature and let my hair grey, I let go of pressures that I hadn’t realized I was carrying around — strains of how I was taught to be.
I am not advocating all women go grey; it is a personal choice, just like our wardrobe. Yet, for me, it was a gateway to my authentic self. Evidence of my aging was a badge that said I could be and do as I wished. I no longer needed permission to be me. It was liberating.
I felt a profound sense of peace. It was as if my soul’s purpose was screaming out to the Universe; I got it! I am whole and complete and perfect as I am.
On Becoming Ageless:
My vision has improved. I now see more qualities like kindness, gratitude, empathy, and compassion than physical traits. I can see another’s journey without judgment but with tolerance and understanding.
My sense of hearing has been heightened. I hear the positive more than the negative. I can listen to unspoken words.
I have become more flexible. Ancient trees that have lived hundreds or thousands of years have become my teachers. They may stand upright or twisted from their experiences, but they bend and sway with the winds; having learned to be rigid will only break their branches.
I have become more robust. As with trees, they grow stronger and more resilient each year, and so do I. Sharp words no longer cut me, nor can the daggers from angry eyes pierce my skin. I have not toughened but instead have become like flowing water.
I can nourish myself. As trees drop their leaves to raise the ground, I have learned to nurture myself. I let them go when thoughts that do not serve my higher good enter my mind.
And, so, I have become softer. I have learned the gentlest of touch can affect the most profound healing.
Because we’ve aged does not mean redefining our identities is too late. However, the need for others to define us ceases to exist. We can stand tall with pride, wearing the scars of our experiences as evidence of our being. With grace and acceptance, the becoming is effortless.
Let us make #becomingageless #thefashiontofollow. Let us be the #socialtrendworthfollowing.
