Recently when asked why I did not write about relationships, I thought, but I do. All of what I write is on ‘relationships.’ Not in the traditional sense of couples or coupleship, but every interaction is related to something or someone. So I pondered, and here’s what I came up with.

We are connected to all things; friends, family, coworkers, animals, nature, the world, and ourselves. Being a part of a couple is just one more.

Yet, coupleships are regularly the ones people ask about, giving it a status over the other ‘ships.’

In my astrological chart, I have no planets in the relationship house. Which translates to; I don’t receive any guidance from the stars. That doesn’t mean I can’t have a good coupleship; I have been in several. It just means I’ve had to discover how to navigate them.

Often what attracts us to a relationship is our symbiotic needs. I need this. I need that. I need security. I need a companion. I need a sanctuary. We come together because it ideally fulfills the needs of both parties.

Regardless of the specificity of the interaction, the core of who we are is static. Who we are essentially remains the same. Yet, society’s pressure on being a couple can cause integral shifts within ourselves, altering how we interact.

This alteration is evidenced by how our work persona can differ from our at-home one.

But why?

Society has brainwashed us to be a couple. We believe what we have been told; we are stronger together; we have someone to care for us and create a family structure. These are all true.

Yet,  higher expectations are often placed on our love relations, along with an element of compromise.

Compromise is a necessary part of life.

But if being in a couple alters the core of who we are, and this pressure to stay as a couple creates discord to keep our partners and society happy, it is going against the reason we entered the relationship in the first place. It is alerting us; it is time to realign our choices.

I’ll do whatever it takes to keep us together is an antiquated belief system. I am not insinuating to jump ship at the moment the going gets rough. Instead, I am suggesting when we sacrifice our well-being, physically, mentally, or spiritually because we believe it will keep our relationship alive, it is ultimately our demise.

The world is changing, and with it, what family units look like. The stigma on singlehood is lifting, and the focus is turning towards self-development, whether we are attached to another.

Relationships of all kinds are necessary for the growth of the human spirit. Yet, the primary relationship with ourselves is vital, becoming the foundation for all others.

They all serve as a mirror, reflecting what we are putting forth. These reflections remind us that who we see is who we are.

Understanding of self can be observed by how life transpires around us. If each of our relationships, even brief encounters, brings disharmony, it indicates our connection to self is in discord. What we put into the world will return to us.

Dynamics in all communication mirror our taught beliefs. However, coupleships may reflect the most deeply.

While in a coupleship, one such belief I could examine was my fear of vulnerability. Once identified, through conscious choice, I questioned where my fear had originated.

Coming to us through family, peers, culture, society, and often through circumstance, we outgrow many tenets we were taught to live by. Beliefs are put into place to serve us; once they no longer do that, we can let them go. I could release it by unearthing why I held onto an old belief that attracted specific energies.

Without the world’s reflection of who we are, we would exist in a bubble. We can make adjustments through the guidance of what we see. The effects our thoughts have on our lives change as we outgrow behaviors.

We are one element, one piece of the complicated wheel that creates every nuance in the world. Our relationships with everything are essential. One ‘ship’ does not hold status over the next.

Just as each cell in our bodies holds importance to the greater whole, so does how we as individuals move through our lives—creating relationships in harmony with all, beginning with ourselves.

We can only fulfill the spiritual journey of this very human experience through deep self-examination.