“Blame is getting stuck in the problem, not in the solution”
Early in my casting career, I was presented with an opportunity to traverse blame. Production is synonymous with solving problems; it is part of the job description. Although I always strive to do my best, sometimes it’s not enough.
It was my first time working with this particular Producer. During our phone introduction, she was very adamant nothing be overlooked. “This job has to run perfectly; I do not tolerate mistakes.” It was her first job with this client, so she wanted it to “run like clockwork.”
The casting went well. The clients found the talent they were looking for, and all were happy… the production was rolling smoothly along.
Until I got a phone call from the set, the producer screaming.
The talent questioned something in the contract and would not sign it. On an aside, the talent often asks questions, and that’s why they have agents to advise them. This was not unusual. However, a piece of information was not communicated to the talent. And that was creating the hold-up.
The Producer was irate. “How could this happen?”. Rage, expletives, and condemnation spewed, “I told you this was imperative information at the beginning of the job,” and she attacked my competence. “How hard is it to perform a simple request? You are making me look bad in front of my clients!”
I allowed her to vent, my heart pounding.
Thoughts whirled around my novice casting brain, ‘Had I forgotten something? Had I screwed up? What was going to happen? What should I do?’
She continued with threats of financial repercussions because of my incompetence and assured me that this was a significant mistake and that I would be held personally responsible.
Horses are my muse, so I took a moment and thought about them. With horses, one must live in the moment. When a problem arises, one must remain calm, non-reactionary, and move towards a solution.
I needed to step aside from the bombardment of blame thrust at me and respond without being defensive. With my steadiest voice, I answered, ‘It was my oversight; I am sorry, I made a mistake.”
The phone went audibly silent for a long beat. Then, composing herself, she asked what I intended to do to remedy the issue.
I asked her to give me a moment to call the agent, and I would get back to her immediately.
Before the paper trail of email existed, communication was over the telephone. Often bits and pieces of information would come in throughout the project, and miscommunication could quickly happen. Mistakes occurred.
I was unsure if the information had been communicated to the agent, and the agent wasn’t sure if I had or had not either but suggested it could have been overlooked on his part too.
The issue was resolved when he called his talent, and she agreed to sign the contract. The entire solution took five minutes.
The Producer was informed all was remedied. I apologized for any inconvenience and embarrassment the oversight may have caused her.
Her response was a simple Thank you and a deep sigh of relief.
The job was a success. She looked like a rockstar to her higher-ups. I was no worse for the wear.
This was an excellent lesson for me. Some people like to blame. Regardless of where the mistake was made or by whom, my name was on the door. It was my responsibility to solve the issues.
With 30+ yrs in the business, I have never encountered a problem without a viable solution. Of course, the first step is always to bypass the blame.
4 Let Go’s to Stop Playing The Blame Game
1) Let Go of Blaming. Accept that S#*! happens sometimes. If we are not part of the solution, then we are part of the problem. Blame does not resolve problems.
2) Let Go of Denial. Start by acknowledging we made a mistake and own our part in it. To put the fault onto someone else takes us away from a solution. Stepping up and admitting we were wrong diffuses the tension around the situation, giving way to a remedy.
3) Let Go of our Pride. Apologize and validate the person our mistake affected. Once the feelings of another have been acknowledged, they feel better. Their need to blame is lessened.
4) Let Go of Justifying the reasons why the mistake happened. Stop passing the buck. Offer a solution and accept there may be consequences.
Let’s Let Go of playing the Blame Game. We are human. We make mistakes. Not all remedies are simple; however, taking responsibility is. The choice is ours to fuel the fire or to be a part of the solution.
Mistakes are always forgivable if one has the courage to admit them
~Bruce Lee
Pascui Rivas
This was beautiful Charisse. I know people like this, the worst part is that blaming is contagious, and I have been caught in that trap. Learning how to accept responsibility is key, but we must also learn not to absorb fault that is not our own, simply to please a client or a boss. Thank you for this very important reminder that blame leads to nothing positive.
charisse
Thank you Pascui for your insight. I agree blame does not lead to anything positive and a crucial part is as you say, not to absorb the faults that are not our own.. 🙂
Russ Katzman
Great post, but now I have “the name game” song stuck in my head and I blame you!
charisse
LOL