What if rejection is just selection?

Rejection hurts. We often take it as a sign of failure. It can trigger feelings of unworthiness; anger, jealousy, and resentment may also arise. Rejection can make us feel alone. And to top it off, those feelings may stick with us, sometimes for years.

We have all experienced both sides of rejection. We have been rejected, and we have been the rejector. It does not feel good on either side of it.

What if we changed our attitude and looked at rejection differently? Changing how we view rejection allows us to alter our response to it.

Let’s look at a scenario. I love hats. I love to wear them; I love to look at them. Sometimes just trying them on gives me joy. So I carefully select the appropriate one for the day when I look at my wall of hats. Maybe a baseball cap if I go hiking or a beanie if it is cold. Sometimes it’s a giant-brimmed hat to protect me from the sun. When I choose the hat for the occasion, I am not rejecting all my other hats; on the contrary, I merely select the best one for that moment, not leaving the others forever.

Life is a series of scenarios. How we choose to respond creates who we are. Our choices are 100% within our control. Learning to alter how we respond when rejection enters our world can make all the difference in how we allow it to affect us.

 Sometimes rejection is simply something just not working out

~ Stephanie Doherty

 

 7 Actions to Help Us Cope with Rejection

1. Perception. Rejection is not a rebuff of who we are, so let’s not take it personally. Shifting our perception can change our mindset. It is a selection process made by other parties based on specific criteria. We are not always the right fit, and that is okay.

2. Redirection: Not getting chosen can signal it is time for redirection. Take a moment to examine your path to see if an alternate course is needed.

3. Protection:  When a door closes, it asks us to stop, look, and listen, putting us on notice to look around. Doors that close may be for our protection: from a choice, a job offer, or a move that is not right for us.

4. Reaction: Cultivating a flexible mindset will allow us to slow down before we react. When we strongly react to something, pausing momentarily and taking a deep breath is ideal. By doing so, it allows us to observe without overreacting.

5. Projection: Sometimes, when we face rejection, we falsely read into it without seeing the whole picture. We may be projecting our perceived inadequacies when we receive a rebuff.

6. Question:  Repeatedly being rejected may indicate it is time to question if we are taking the right action. It may be the opportunity to change a behavior, adjust an attitude, or realign our goals.

7. Reflection:  Ultimately, rejection leads us to a place of self-reflection. Rejection helps us grow; without it, it would be impossible to improve ourselves.
It is an opportunity. Whatever life throws at us, we can meet it with a bring-it-on attitude, knowing growth is always the outcome. Life is about expansion, and this starts from within. Understanding rejection comes into our lives as lessons to be learned. Stop reacting to rejection by rethinking what they are here to teach us. Then we can truly let go and be free.

I take rejection as someone blowing a bugle in my ear to wake me up and get going, rather than retreat.

~ Sylvester Stallone