To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment.

~Ralph Waldo Emerson

The authentic self is who we are at our absolute core. It is who we were born to be. A composite of all our skills, talents, and wisdom, it is what makes us uniquely us because it is our souls’ calling.

 Yet, we define our lives by our roles and the titles we take on. We introduce ourselves as Mrs, Mr., Miss, or Ms; we are a she, he, or they. Single, married, or divorced; a mother, father, wife, husband, doctor, artist, overachiever, peacemaker, rebel, and so on.

We take on these titles and identities, believing it is who we are supposed to be. We mold into these roles thinking this is who we are. These are identity roles; we wear them as costumes to fit into our worlds. They may define us for a period of our lives, and then one day, we realize they no longer work.

The authentic self always exists. However, it is not always revealed. It can sometimes live in the shadows of our identity roles for a lifetime, but the authentic self is patient. It will always present itself when allowed.

Authenticity happens when our words, actions, and behaviors consistently match our essence. When we let go of our identity roles and embrace our authentic selves, we will feel a shift. This is a sign of our awakening.

More and more, we feel out of sorts. Conflicts within may arise. It may feel like nothing is going as planned, or there are blocks and delays at every turn. Then, finally, something may happen to tell us we have had enough. Or we have reached our breaking point, often coinciding with an ‘Ah Ha’ moment.

Here, the journey begins towards our true selves. To find ourselves doesn’t mean being more in our identity roles, but actually in them, less. It means to shed who we once were to become who we are.

The quest to discover our true self is profoundly spiritual and private. Learning to be our authentic self is essential to building meaningful relationships, yet those closest to us often will not understand the changes we are making. When we change, the dynamics of our relationship change. Letting go of those who do not support our journey may be one of the most challenging steps towards authenticity, yet it may be necessary to reach our truth.

By shedding the identity roles we have assumed, we open the door to our authentic selves, the fundamental raison d’ etre.

Steps to Authenticity

  1. Learn to be quiet. To hear, we must silence the chatter in our heads.
  2. Trust your voice. Discern the difference between your critical voice, the one that judges you and tells you what to do, and your authentic voice. Your authentic voice is kind and supportive, and it will often speak to you through your intuition, so tune in.
  3. Follow your passions. Passion may be tricky to characterize, but we all know it when it happens. We know we have found a passion when whatever it is, gives us endless energy, we can maintain single-minded focus and have the resolve to stick with it through even the most daunting challenges. To find what ignites you, you can begin by traveling back to who you were as a child and exploring the interests you had then. Even if something seems random, give it a go, and check it out. One interest may lead to another, and you will fall into what resonates with you.
  4. Speak your truth. There is no need for stretching or bending the truth to appear more. There is no need to justify or modify reality because our authentic selves understand that flaws make up the perfection of who we are. 
  5. Continuously ask questions. Explore, and formulate your own opinions of each situation. By doing so, you will learn to trust yourself and be less reliant on the views of others. Check in with your intuition and ask if this is right for you. 

When we have tapped into the authentic self, we no longer care what others think. Confrontation, explanation, or resentment are no longer necessary for communication, so others may sense contentment. We feel confident in our choices, and we find a feeling of peace with life.

Just as we all have unique fingerprints, iris, and voice patterns, we also have an individual, authentic self. Conformity is the antithesis of uniqueness, preventing us from the endless possibilities of growth.

The authentic self no longer requires the facade or security of an identity role because the authentic self is enough. So take the risk to become all that you are meant to be.

“The privilege of a lifetime is to become who you truly are”- Carl Jung.