The moment that you start to wonder if you deserve better, you do.

― Unknown

We all want a life of happiness, the one we always dreamt of—the one we deserve. Or do we? Are we fooling ourselves by blocking our path to achieving it? If your outlook is to find ways to complain, compare yourself, or sulk away your days, then it is time to re-evaluate how you envision your life.

The saying, where there is a will, there is a way, encourages success in accomplishing something, moving mountains to attain our goal, persevering through hardships to survive, or overcoming obstacles at all costs. While many rise to the occasion, others traverse another path.

The buzz surrounds those with positive thoughts and manifesting what they want, yet some are equally diligent in creating a world of angst and problems. The focus is on seeing the difficulties and reasons why things cannot happen, and when life sends them cherries, all they see are the pits.

If we change how we see life, the life we see will change. So turn the tables on your reality; we can be miserable or find a ray of hope on any cloudy day.

One extenuating factor is to remember that it may not always be a conscious choice to act in specific ways because we are culturally taught to communicate in various fashions.

We must question if how we have been socially indoctrinated works against our journey of happiness and self-actualization.

I am half-Japanese. In that culture, complaining is frowned upon, as are many forms of emotionality. However, on my other half, the European side, it is common and even encouraged to voice your opinion and emotionally express yourself. As a result, I have had to learn how to navigate the presets I was born into, moving forward consciously and forging a path that fits my desires.

12 Steps to Achieve the Life you Desire

      1. Start now; you won’t look back in a few years and wish you had. Then, if you are serious about having the life you always want, you will find a way, not an excuse.
      2. Stop taking everything personally; it is not about you. The driver who cut you off has nothing to do with you, so stop thinking that the world is out to get you. Instead, keep on your track forward.
      3. It is essential to understand what our natural tendencies are. Not aligning your goals with your strengths can be a pitfall. For example, some people are more predisposed to be entrepreneurs, while others thrive in a structured environment. Some improvise jazz; others play classical from a score. A round peg does not fit into a square hole. Be honest with yourself.
      4.  Sometimes we want to struggle to make the win feel earned; other times, we keep busy because we think we need to. Hard work and busy work are not the same. Being active for the sake of being active can distract from what needs to be addressed.
      5.  Stop sacrificing what you need to please others. If you seek approval from everyone, you will end up pleasing no one.
      6. Your friends and family don’t always have your best interest in mind. So watch what they do, not what they say.
      7. All or nothing is an attitude worth losing; the journey is the gift, so focus on now instead of the outcome.
      8. Letting go of those people, things, or attitudes that do not propel you toward your goals is a gain, not a loss.
      9. Going with the flow is not about aimlessly walking around; it means you are open to changes in direction. Learning to let go of resistance allows you to adapt to the ever-changing environment and circumstances.
      10. Becoming aware of our moods can be tricky, but the sooner we catch ourselves in the doldrums, the better. Once we are in a place where everything looks grey, it is more difficult to drag ourselves away. So when you feel the moods starting to take hold, get moving. Move your body, walk, drive, or blast music and dance around the house. This, too, shall pass, but let’s not wallow in it if we can do something about it.
      11. Refrain from spending money on things you think will make you happy; look for experiences instead.
      12. Happiness is an internal choice, not an external condition. While it is accurate that we cannot control every twist and turn, life throws at us, those who stay stuck are the ones who stop when something blocks their path. When faced with adversity, remember we have a choice.

The power resides within our choices whether we create the life we have always dreamt of- the life we deserve. To settle for anything less will subvert the chance of ever attaining it. However, if you enjoy the journey and appreciate everything you already have, you may realize you already have a perfect life. Anything else is just icing. Being grateful for what is and not what isn’t creates a life worth living.

. “The first step to getting anywhere is deciding you’re no longer willing to stay where you are.”— Anonymous